Sounds Familiar

I give the guy on craigslist credit but he didn't leave a name and the link won't be good in a couple of days but this is sooo true:

 

The Envelope

"Dear Captain" the invoice from the marina was
addressed. "Our records show ... ".

"Shit" you screamed. "fxxking sailboat, I hate the thing",

As you toss the bill into the basket, you look around,
your studio apartment is a mess, in the corner, hanging from
a nail on the wall, the photo taken the day you purchased
the "fxxking sailboat" has become faded.

How did this happen, you ask yourself.
You close your eyes, calm down, and think back
to that day, not so long ago, the day you bought her,
the "sailboat". You danced a jig, as you
laughed with all the guys at the Tap. "I'm setting
sail for the Bahama's you bloody land ludders" you
told them.

The following day, how could you forget that day,
as you drove to the marina, you remember
telling your wife "Honey, we can sail her to the islands,
or around the world." "The previous owner told me that a German
sailor took his all the way to Fiji".

"Climb aboard, let's take her for a sail"
you said as your wife threw her carry bag
onto the foredeck.

A few minutes later, as your wife laid out
her beach towel she told you "I feel weird,
maybe a little sick".

"Don't worry, dear, that happens the first time out"
you happily responded as you dropped the mooring lines,
pulled the fenders, and unfurled the sails.

Your new sailboat jumped forward, her rail down, she was
heeled over so far that water was spashing into the
cockpit.

"What the hell is going on" your wife screamed. "The boat is
on its side, we are going to die".

"That is what sailboats do" you calmly told her.

Then; she puked, and started crying.

"Take me back to shore, if you don't take me back right
now I am calling the police" she moaned as she grabbed for
her cell phone.

As you released the halyards, the sails dropped,
the sailboat stopped dead in the water, but the engine
would not start.

"Help me, my husband is trying to kill me" she howled into
the cell phone. "I am on his new sailboat, we are adrift,
the engine won't start, please save me" ..

After $400 dollars was paid to the Seatow
operator, and your sailboat was secured to the dock,
she stormed off. The last you saw of her, that is
until that day in court, the day of your divorce,
was the back of her head as she sped away in the car.

And now every month the marina bill arrives,
a painful reminder that the "sailboat" is still
docked at the "Really Expensive Marina" on
Yachting road.

The For Sale sign hasn't worked, and you are tired of
receiving email from Nigeria, so why not cut the mooring
lines, let her go. So what if you spent thousands on
the new engine, the new standing rigging, all that cruising
gear. If you continue to own her, she will bankrupt you.

If this story is "your" story, I may be able to help.
I am looking for a 26-32 foot sailboat. If
The Envelope with the Dear Captain greetings has
finally convinced you that it is time to cut the
mooring lines, and let her go, just get rid of the
sailboat, stop the bleeding, why not offer up the
boat for FREE.

I'm just a guy looking to go cruising,
willing to take the boat off your
hands. Soon, you will be telling your story
at the Tap, how the boat cost you so much money,
how your wife divorced you, and all the guys will
be doubled over. "Let this be a lesson to you guys"
you will say as another free beer is slid down the bar
in your direction.

 

Hope he is successfull that  poem deserves something.